As a parent there are many life lessons I know my children will have to learn. I often wonder how they will be taught and when. One moment I’ve always said I’ve dreaded is a broken heart. Mending a broken heart is not fun but it’s something we all go through. Until know I hadn’t considered it happening so young but it has.
From when they were snuggled close in my belly LAL have gotten many special gifts. One gift in particular was given to me by one of my mothers in law ( yes, I am blessed with two) at my baby shower. It was “Bunny.” Bunny is a sweet little stuffed bunny holding a blanket about the size of a chipmunk. Bunny has been with LAL since they each started sleeping in their own cribs around three and a half months old. Lily and Liam quickly became attached to Bunny and would sleep with it every night. Audrey could take it or leave it. Bunny has been with us on all of our travels, soaked up many tears and has always been there when needed. Until last Saturday. We were about to leave my brother in law’s house when an exhausted Lily asked for Bunny. I’m usually on top of Bunny patrol having a good idea where he is or where he’s been left. Not that night. I could not picture where and when I had last seen Bunny. We convinced Lil that Bunny was at home and we’d find him waiting for her. She reluctantly agreed and we were on our way.
We got home and Bunny was not waiting. Audrey was kind enough to let Lily borrow her Bunny for the evening until we could do a proper “Bunny hunt” in the morning. The next morning David searched high and low and still no Bunny. I’ve prayed to St. Anthony, and still no Bunny.
Lily’s heart is broken. Every night she cries because she misses her Bunny and just wants to sleep with her Bunny. I feel terrible. Part of me feels like I’ve failed my little girl. I know there is really no way for me to keep up with everything all the time but I know how special Bunny is. Maybe I should have stuck to my guns when I said, “Bunny doesn’t leave the house.” When she cries I know how badly her heart hurts and all I can do is hug her and tell her I know how she feels. We’ve come up with the story that Clover (the rabbit from Sofia the First) needed Bunny’s help with something so he had to go be a good friend and help. I told Lily that Bunny would not have left if he didn’t think she would be ok, but he knew she would be able to get on without him. If Bunny doesn’t show up by Saturday (please St. Anthony do me a solid) we’re going to get her a new something for her to snuggle.
Well we did it. LAL are in school! I originally had decided not to send them to school this year and keep them with me for another year. Then I came to my senses. I was a bit late coming to this decision (hence why I call myself “Last minute Lucy” I work better under pressure), like August late. David, as he always does, just road the roller coaster until I got to the final stop.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to send them to school this year because its early. At least in my mind its early. I’m sure there are people out there who consider three and a half to be late but I’m not one of them. In my mind, this is the beginning of the end. They are going to be in school for the next 15+ years! Why start it now? And believe me I know it’s not the end, but I’m speaking in regard to them being home with me. Part of me wants to keep them in our little bubble forever.
Then one day I heard myself yelling, I don’t normally yell. I am usually the epitome of patience, thank you grandma Mary (everyone says she had the patience of Job)!!! But I have noticed a difference in myself since the day after they turned three (that’s a whole other story for a different day), I have had less patience than normal. This is what got me to realize I do not have the capability to stimulate my three three year olds enough anymore. It made me sad to think that I wasn’t enough for my children. But the reality is, I know if I’m getting irritated by typical three year old behavior it’s time to call in reinforcements. It can only benefit all involved. I obviously knew I wasn’t always going to be the only one to shape their beautiful little minds but I guess I wasn’t expecting it to come so soon.
Three and a half years have gone by so quickly it’s unbelievable. Everyone says how quickly time passes and I wondered if I was rushing time by sending them to school. I still don’t know the answer to that but the decision has been made. The best I can do is stick by the choice we made and go with the flow.
Their first day of school went well. I had always thought I’d be the mother hysterically crying while my kids were throwing up the peace sign burning rubber with their sneakers. That’s not how it went. We had had a rough morning so I was actually not sad at all to see them off to school. What got me was pulling into the parking lot and seeing David’s car. He surprised us! He had sent me a really lovely message in the morning so I didn’t even think it would be an option for him to come. He did and I got a bit emotional. LAL loved it! They were so happy to see their daddy at their new school. I have a good man. We all walked into their classroom (they’re all in the same class) together they showed him a couple of things. Lily and Liam birth said, “bye mommy, bye daddy” and Audrey had more and more things to show us but then her teacher caught her attention and we slipped out. Flash forward two and a half hours, I seriously mean flash, those are the quickest two and a half hours EVER! We picked them up and all was good. LAL enjoyed their first day of school!! The days since have been a mixed bag, a cut lip, some tears but nothing major. I think all will be good sooner rather than later.
Over the past ten days I have had the pleasure of seeing my closest girlfriends. Last weekend was a laugh filled weekend with my five of my oldest girlfriends, in Rhode Island. We all live on the east coast between Charlotte, NC and Boston. During the week, I visited with two wonderful girlfriends of mine from this area. And this weekend, my oldest sister with my nieces and my dear friend and her husband came up from the tri-state area. That’s a whole bunch of girlfriends and I have loved every moment of every visit.
Being a mom to three three year olds is no easy task. I wear many different hats on any given day, wife, mother, chauffeur, chef, and referee to name a few. Never do I get to wear just one hat, I am always multitasking. Needless to say it is exhausting and it is very easy to forget about the first hat, my “me” hat. What I’ve learned over the past three years is that letting my me hat get buried underneath the others is no good. This is where girlfriends come in.
I am fortunate enough to have dear friends whom I’ve known since I was born and some I’ve met just recently. These woman don’t judge me. They are genuine people that only want the best for me. These are the ladies that know if I don’t call them for six months, it is not because anything is wrong but because life is busy. And some, we might only see once a year but within milliseconds of that first big long hug we fall right back into it like were just together yesterday. We talk about everything from, what we think famous people are like when cameras are off to gardening tips to instant coffee.
Girlfriends are so very special and so very important to me. So to my girlfriends, thank you for being there for me…always! I love you dearly! XOXO
When people first see LAL, after the initial inquiry about them being triplets and telling me I have my hands full (I wish I could get paid for every time somebody said that to me) nine times out of ten the next comment is about their hair. Ten times out of ten people cannot believe they each have totally different types of hair.
As you can see, Liam has wavy almost straight hair, Audrey has loose curls and Lily has tight corkscrew curls. All completely different but each equally as beautiful and fitting for their personalities. Personally, I have never been intrigues by the fact that they have different hair textures. It actually make sense…they are individuals!!! People tend to forget this when triplets are at hand. It is no different than singleton siblings having different thickness, textured, or colored hair. Just because my munchkins happen to have been born within two minutes of each other does not mean they are the same person. Even identical multiples are not the same. Anyway, I could talk all day about peoples misconceptions regarding multiple birth children but that’s not what this post is about.
This post is about my daughter Lily.
My lovely Lily lulu bell. She’s my oldest daughter, even if only by one minute and ninety seconds. I call her my old soul. A couple of months ago my sweet girl said something to me that instantly broke my heart. She said, “Mommy I want hair like Rere.” I wanted to cry. I didn’t because I didn’t want her to see how sad it made me. So I responded the best I knew how. I said, “but Lulu you’re hair is beautiful.” I went on to explain that Rere’s hair was hers and Lily’s hair was hers. And though they are different they are equally as wonderful. I talked about everybody being different and it is those differences that make people unique and special in their very own way.
Now I have been expecting this. Well, not this exactly, more like, “mom I want the jeans that she has” or something of that nature around the age of 13. Not hair, at the age of three!!!! Lily’s hair gets a ton of positive attention. I mean it is pretty amazing. She can do awesome things like this:
I know it’s human nature to want what we don’t have. I’m sure with time she’ll realize how special her hair is but until then we will continue to tell her how beautiful and special her hair is. And how it is just one more thing that makes her who she is.
We’ve all heard of the LBD, right? The little black dress is a staple in most women’s closets. For my three year old daughter Lily it’s the LRD- little red dress.
We got this dress from my dear friend Heather as a hand me down. One day both girls asked for princess dresses so I let them put on holiday dresses from their closet. I can’t justify purchasing Cinderella, Belle and other sparkly Disney princess dresses so when it comes to dress up they wear their special dresses. I figure they would normally only wear them once so it’s a good way to make the most of a purchase. Back to the LRD.
Lily loves her LRD!! It started off as a play dress that she would want to wear when we came home from outings. More recently she pretty much refuses to wear anything else. At first, I would be able to negotiate the wearing of the dress by telling her she could have a special treat when we got home or watch a show. She quickly became hip to my game. The bribes stopped working. The power struggles began. For example, Saturday my mother in law was watching them and wanted to take them to the park. Lily said, “I don’t want to go to to park.” Huh? You’re three what three year old turns down slides and swings?! Mine does. I quickly figured out why. I had been telling her she can’t wear the dress outside.
At that moment I decided to embrace the LRD. What do I care if she wears her dress all day everyday? In the grand scheme of the things, it does not matter one bit. And if it makes her happy, who am I to take that away? Simple pleasures.
I’ll see how long it lasts.
My phone says 5:57 PM. I’m not sure what time zone we’re in to be completely honest. But that’s not really relevant. Before I left, well months ago, I pinned a pin on Pinterest from a woman who was going on a trip and left her daughter a note with an activity for everyday she was gone. That pin (which I will link to when I’m no longer on an airplane) inspired this post.
I last year when I took this trip last year I was feeling a bit unsure about leaving LAL. This I feel fine about it. They’re a little bit older, I’m a little bit wiser so all is good. In an effort to make sure they know I’m thinking about them and they know what I am doing. I put together a series of activities for them to do five out of the four days I am away. The theme is Hawaii…surprise surprise! Here they are:
Audrey climbed into bed with me first yesterday morning at 6:30AM, Lily came a few minutes later and Liam after her. That’s not normal. Liam is my early bird, he’s usually climbing on top of me at 6 AM sharp telling me he’s hungry. Anyway since we were all awake I decides we get a head start on our day.
I’m going to Kona, HI on Thursday and there are a few things that need to get done before I leave. Most importantly grocery shopping. I’d also like to put some simple crafts together for LAL and I guess I should pack too. My parents are coming today to watch LAL while I’m away and I’d like to make things as easy as possible for them. Though there are only three items on my list at the moment, completing them with three three year olds hanging around is no easy task. This is where my great idea comes into play.
In an effort to use my time wisely I decided to go grocery shopping before heading to the YMCA. We all thought it was a great idea even LAL were excited to go to Trader Joe’s first. It all started when Audrey wouldn’t get out of the car because she was “putting her fruit away.” See yesterday, in order to get them out of the house, I allowed Audrey and Liam to bring their wooden fruits and vegetables in the car and they/I never took them out. I guess this is why my husband tells me to clean out the car after each use. Once the final piece of fruit was “put away” we made our way into the store. We were on our merry way when we stopped at the sample table. The sample was a strawberry chia smoothie. I enjoyed it, LAL did not hence one of the cups ending up on the floor. As a treat for myself, I grabbed a little sample of coffee. That was a lovely treat until I spilled some of it on Lily. I normally have the pushing one carriage and pulling the other down to a science. Not this morning. With Lily cleaned up, I continued on down the freezer aisle. As I was grabbing some pancakes and waffles, I see my second cart falling…in slow motion…of course. Audrey and Liam were suddenly on the floor. I usually do not put two kids in the back but Audrey asked and I figured there wouldn’t be an issue. I was wrong. They both decided to attempt to grab something at the same time on the same side. And down they went. After a minute of tears they both got back in the carriage, one in the front this time, and we finished up our shopping. There were a couple more spills, some dropped items but nothing major. We paid our bill, I put them in their seats and loaded the bags. Onto the Y!
The Y is basically across the street from Trader Joe’s. I usually get there between 9:00 and 9:15 (the classes I take start at 9:30) in order to get a spot in line, drop LAL off in the playroom, take them to the bathroom and put my sneakers on. It was 9:25 when I got to the playroom. No bueno. I signed them in and everyone had to go to the bathroom, leisurely of course. There is no way to trick three toddlers into going to the bathroom quickly. As I was wiping bums, pulling pants up and washing hands I could hear Ellen’s (the instructor) voice through the wall. Bummer. I was hoping time wasn’t really going as slowly as it seemed. It was actually even slower because when I looked into class the clock said 9:45. The class was jam packed so there was no way for me to even slip into the back. I decided to use the elliptical instead. There’s nothing I dread more than working out on machines. The first one kept stopping after fifteen minutes after the second time I switched. I finished my workout on a different machine the final summary said I went 1.37 miles in 27 minutes. Wrong. The sweat dripping from my body was a good indication that I had not been for a leisurely walk on the elliptical.
I’ve decided to stick with my normal routine going forward. I’ll give my attempt of efficiency a C+. It wasn’t pretty and I didn’t get to workout the way I wanted to but I got it got done.
Months in a year, signs in the zodiac, amount in a dozen and most importantly the number of years David and I have been married. We are celebrating our twelfth anniversary. We’re headed out on our date so the elaborate blog I had in my mind will be saved for next year.
Twelve years is a long time. If I had them all to do over again I wouldn’t change a thing, ok well maybe a few things but not my partner. We’ve had ups and downs, good times and bad times and have continued to grow together. We’ve had our share of heartaches and joys but thankfully the joys far outweigh our heartaches. I don’t think I could have picked a better man to marry.
On the eighth day of June in 2001 just about at this time we were exchanging our vows in front of our closest family and friends. Thank you to everyone who has supported us over the past twelve years!!! We look forward to many more years to come.
Usually I’m as cool as a cucumber, not today. Right now I’m about as hot as a jalapeño. I’m not really sure why I’m trying to figure it out. My day started out with a great workout which usually holds me through until the end of the day. Maybe it’s the rain. Maybe it’s because my kids are exhausted but refuse to sleep. Or maybe it’s just me.
My patience bank is in the red, big time. I think, well, I know my kids have realized they win the numbers game. For whatever reason they only realize it when I’m at my wits end. Those smart little devils! Today is one of those days…
I feel bad because David is on his way home from work and I am a cranky puss. Im sure its the last thing he wants to deal with on a Friday afternoon after a long week. I’m hoping by putting it on the screen I’m letting go of the negative energy surrounding me. And hopefully by the time he walks through the door I’ll be a bit more normal. I think it’s working I’m feeling fewer pins and needles throughout my body. Please whatever vibes and patience prayers you can send my way send them stat!!!!!
Leave it three three year olds to remind me they are still only three years old. As the saying goes when it rains it pours. Ok so maybe it’s just a heavy rainfall.
It started this morning when I went to Home Depot to get sand for LALs new sandbox. I should have known when it took me 35 minutes to find someone to help me. Finally, found a nice gentleman to help me and he even loaded my car. I guess that’s why they say, “Good things come to those who wait.”
Next, a thousand hours (I figured it would take 30 minutes tops) into putting the sandbox together, I realize the holes are drilled in the wrong place on one of the sides. Now thinking about it I guess I could have drilled new holes but I’m not that handy. I left a message for customer service at the company from which it was purchased and got to work taking it apart. I received a quick phone call back and a new side is being shipped tomorrow.
All the while LAL are inside watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates or so I thought. Once I cleaned everything up outside an put it away I came in to find this:
My blood boiled. They all started saying, “Sorry Mommy” relentlessly which clued me in to, their full knowledge that they knew they were doing something they should not have been. I put them each in a chair and began operation cleanup. As I listened to the conversation between them my blood cooled off some. They were telling each other they were not going to invite me to their birthday parties. I thought it was funny that they were so mad at me for cleaning up their mess that I got the boot from the guest list. Then it all came to light. Someone asked, “What are you doing?” I said, “Cleaning up your mess.” And they said, “No, it’s our cake. We were baking a cake for Ariel.” That erased everything for me. I forget that little minds have full intention with regard to whatever they are doing. I often forget this. I see things for what they are in my world not what they are in their world. As I was cleaning up I started to feel badly for getting so irritated when in their world they were simply baking a cake.
We talked about the rules of the big kitchen. I reminded them that they need an adult to bake with my ingredients and must ask permission before taking them out. I also reminded them they can always cook in their kitchen using their ingredients without needing to ask me or another adult. They said they understood. We’ll see 😉