LAL were given bunnies when I was pregnant. Liam and Lily love their bunnies beyond belief while Audrey could take it or leave it. Here is where my fail comes in.
Last week my friend gave us coupons to the circus. I figured, why not? The kids would get in free! How could I deny my munchkins their first circus? We planned to go but had the usual “try to get out of the house drama.” Lil and Liam both asked to bring their bunnies and I said no. Cue the tears. From both of them. So I folded in an effort to get out of the house. I told them both bunny was their responsibility and if they lose it, it’s on them.
We made it to the circus. Amidst the complaining it was too loud and the general needs of a four year when out in public we got through it. There were elephants, tigers ( we missed them because we were a but late), aerialists, clowns, motorcycles and the usual things you find at a circus. It was a nice afternoon. And of course once we left, LAL talked about how much they loved the circus. That through me for a loop because while under the tent Audrey was the only one mesmerized. Anyway we got into the car and Liam asked, “where’s bunny?” I said, “I don’t know. Where IS bunny?” He looked in the car, and we recounted getting into the car. At this point I couldn’t remember whether he had actually brought it or not. Then he said he had left it at home and didn’t bring it. I trusted his word though and we waited for parking lot traffic to die down.
I wish I had taken them back into look for bunny. Part of me knew it wasn’t at home but the girls were complaining and I just couldn’t be bothered. I also had the wherewithal, halfway through the show I thought to look around where we were sitting to make sure no bunnies were floating around. Then again as we were leaving I turned back to check again and there was nothing. This is why I believed he hadn’t brought it. When we got home bunny wasn’t home. Liam everyday since tells me how much he misses bunny and he doesn’t think he will ever see bunny again. It makes me so sad to my little guy hurting. He such a sweet boy. I wish I had just sucked it up and gone back in. Who knows if we would have found bunny but at least I would have tried. I know time will mend his broken heart but I wonder about mine. I feel like I failed my little guy.
As a parent there are many life lessons I know my children will have to learn. I often wonder how they will be taught and when. One moment I’ve always said I’ve dreaded is a broken heart. Mending a broken heart is not fun but it’s something we all go through. Until know I hadn’t considered it happening so young but it has.
From when they were snuggled close in my belly LAL have gotten many special gifts. One gift in particular was given to me by one of my mothers in law ( yes, I am blessed with two) at my baby shower. It was “Bunny.” Bunny is a sweet little stuffed bunny holding a blanket about the size of a chipmunk. Bunny has been with LAL since they each started sleeping in their own cribs around three and a half months old. Lily and Liam quickly became attached to Bunny and would sleep with it every night. Audrey could take it or leave it. Bunny has been with us on all of our travels, soaked up many tears and has always been there when needed. Until last Saturday. We were about to leave my brother in law’s house when an exhausted Lily asked for Bunny. I’m usually on top of Bunny patrol having a good idea where he is or where he’s been left. Not that night. I could not picture where and when I had last seen Bunny. We convinced Lil that Bunny was at home and we’d find him waiting for her. She reluctantly agreed and we were on our way.
We got home and Bunny was not waiting. Audrey was kind enough to let Lily borrow her Bunny for the evening until we could do a proper “Bunny hunt” in the morning. The next morning David searched high and low and still no Bunny. I’ve prayed to St. Anthony, and still no Bunny.
Lily’s heart is broken. Every night she cries because she misses her Bunny and just wants to sleep with her Bunny. I feel terrible. Part of me feels like I’ve failed my little girl. I know there is really no way for me to keep up with everything all the time but I know how special Bunny is. Maybe I should have stuck to my guns when I said, “Bunny doesn’t leave the house.” When she cries I know how badly her heart hurts and all I can do is hug her and tell her I know how she feels. We’ve come up with the story that Clover (the rabbit from Sofia the First) needed Bunny’s help with something so he had to go be a good friend and help. I told Lily that Bunny would not have left if he didn’t think she would be ok, but he knew she would be able to get on without him. If Bunny doesn’t show up by Saturday (please St. Anthony do me a solid) we’re going to get her a new something for her to snuggle.
I did it…WE did it! Last weekend, some of my teammates and I finally finished the Boston Marathon.
My friend and teammate Jackie, set it up so that we started where our last team member was pulled off the course
I’m thankful. I’m thankful that not one of my teammates or our families were physically injured. I’m thankful for our team and the bond we share, there is no other team like us. We care for each other, we love each other and there is not much we wouldn’t do for each other. We all have different and unique stories about how we came to run for Tedy’s team. I do not believe in luck and I do not believe in coincidence, I believe everything happens for a reason. Often growing up my mom would say, “People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” With us we’ve rolled all three into one. Our reason, to get us through this tragedy. Our season, what else but marathon training season. Our lifetime, knowing we are forever bonded by the senseless acts of Marathon Monday 2013 and our beautiful acts of healing, like running across the finish line hand in hand.
Like making sure Melinda was a part of the day, because she was committed to teach for a fundraiser
benefitting the victims of the Boston marathon attacks. And of course, a news segment doesn’t hurt.
All in all, it was a day of healing and closure and most importantly, love and light.